Saturday, February 27, 2010

Women CLAIM They Like a "Creative," "Romantic" Profile ;-)

I've had a profile description up that garnered a lot of positive attention, some of it welcome, a lot not, but I realized no matter how creative I get, it comes down to whether or not you managed to avoid reminding her of a former date who failed the "Women Have 300 Criteria to Agree to a Second Date" test. So I changed the following, which I thought was kind of nice, to my current "I Give Up" profile:

Hi, you. A bit about me: I like women who know what they want and confident, humourous people who love life and want the most out of it.

I like cooking Indian, Thai and Chinese from scratch and skiing off-piste through the trees, even though my skiing sucks and I often find myself flat on my butt.

I like sending my girlfriend flowers at work that match the colour of the dress she left wearing that morning. I like the blush that comes up when I do that little thing to your neck. I love the smell of skin on a hot July lying on the granite pine tree breeze off the water day.

People tell me I see the world differently than most. My blogs suggest I do, I guess.

On a date if you thought: “Oh, he’s interesting, funny, romantic, smart and sexy!” would he get a second date? I get second dates – with online dating it’s getting a FIRST date that’s the virtually insurmountable challenge!

I've lived here and there, never a dull moment, Latin America, Europe, the Middle East, trundled about at the whim of the gods of advertising. Never let go of her, though, the idea of that girl. The one with the big smile, sometimes down, but never out, eclectic in ways only a 1,000 watt bulb and a big right brain can conjure. She's probably home in the Big Smoke, unaware, while I beat up Arab princes for going off-equity. Sigh. Wait a bit. Maybe she will (I hope she does...), she, denizen of seedy jazz bars, troller of used book stores, making light of those that struggle to be more than they need to. I look forward to that day, in my mind's eye, the day she'll look up, down, and back up again, the wry corners pulling northward.

Curious what my take on eHarmony is? Do a search for "Just One Cynic's Opinion" and look for my post about why it simply cannot work.

Chatting comes easily to me, whether online or face to face -- but I'm hopeless at opening lines ('buck-caught-in-the-headlights' is my reaction to a flirty girl). It’d be SO nice to find a girl who's moved past her 'princess phase' and looks beneath the surface for fulfillment.

My favourite ice cream is passion fruit on something warm, sliding through peach fuzz sweet and sticky, green with envy, flushed-blush. You might not like it, but maybe you’ve never had it served quite that way.

I tend to be attracted to women with 'trim posteriors', so I apologize to all those lovely women who I just can't imagine sparks flying with!

But let's hear a little about you. I'm curious. Un beso.

DEAL-BREAKERS: >45 min. drive, less than 3 pics, scanned/old pics, no 'confident' full-body photo &/or your profile says: "I'm attractive" (your suitors will let you know if they think you are).
That was then, this is now:
I’m not very photogenic. THAT's my problem! Offline, in person, I get a fair amount of interest from women I’m attracted to (although meeting a girl who’s both single AND can hold a conversation…). Online I get ‘click delete’ -- offline I get giggles, raised eyebrows, blushes, [i]“Oh, you’re so INTERESTING/funny/smart/romantic”[/i] and if they're attached: [i]“You should meet my single friend”[/i]. (I also get [i]"Ooo, you're better looking than your photos!"[/i]) Online? [i]"You're not my type."[/i]

300 to 3. That’s the problem. 300 is the number of criteria women have for agreeing to go on a second date (the details are at "just one cynic's opinion"). And that’s IN PERSON on a FIRST date. I’d guess that online the number of things that will lead you to click ‘delete’ is over 3,000! Men have 3 criteria: is she 1) attractive; 2) warm; 3) interesting; enough to spend another two hours with? I have no problem winning second dates, ironically, it’s getting YOU to reply to a message, let alone meet for coffee, that’s the insurmountable challenge! If all those musings on dating (amongst other things) makes you more curious, find the link to the blog I use for work-related insights. Incurious? I’m not interested, sorry.

Let’s face it, despite the theoretical appeal, online dating doesn't work as advertised, ladies, and for a good reason. Humans are social animals, designed to react face to face. While online SEEMS to be a viable ‘social medium’, in reality it's virtual, a medium we are not designed to interact naturally in. However the promise of internet dating feeds into all the Disney-like romantic fantasies you grew up on, magically you will come across Mr. Right!

Good luck, but it's simply NOT possible to recognize the cream of the crop; the full selection of guys with the highest potential to be your White Knight, via a few pics and paragraphs online, no matter how astute you're certain you are! Keep busy, glad you enjoy the fleeting ego boosts, but it's a tragic waste of precious time. In the meantime, I’m going to stop wasting so much of my precious time reading all your cute profiles and trying desperately to engage you in clever repartee, only to find you (not YOU, of course!) have posted 10 yr old pics, or don’t have a recent full body photo up because ‘average’ body type takes into account the fact that the average Canadian today is overweight.

Do a search for my insights into online dating from a boy's perspective. You'll get a kick out of them, I guarantee it!

Un beso, Rex
Will the latter profile text work where the former didn't? Not the point. The point is that the hundreds of hours we devote to online dating cannot pay out. There's a vast cost-benefit divide that the seduction of the online promise makes us ignore. Hope springs eternal and sucks us in! Get out there, folks, away from the computer and into the big wide real world filled with people, not profiles.

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